The assistant pastor a fundamentalist Christian church was teaching some children the Sunday school lesson before the main service. He decided to enliven thing a bit by posing them a riddle: “What is it that collects nuts for winter, climbs trees, and has a bushy tail?
An eager youngster waved his hand. The pastor called on him. “Well,” he said, I know the answer’s supposed to be Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.”

Ole went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” Ole said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You are not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box said the priest. Ole paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest who was watching, quickly ran over to Ole saying, “I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!” Ole replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 ("knowing my own hidden secrets") and Psalms 52:3-4 ("lies and deceit"), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax.
I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.00.

"If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."

When the bishop went to visit the nuns, the mother superior noticed that his fly was undone and whispered to him that his pharmacy was opened, he understood what she meant and fixed himself up before proceeding to have a chat with the nuns. When he was finished with his chatting and on his way out, he called on the mother superior once again. He said to her; " Thank you for letting me know about my pharmacy, but tell me something please, did you notice if the pharmacist was at the door?"