What is the difference between a family reunion and a 69er?
A) With a 69er you've only gotta kiss one cunt!

Q: What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

A: Fur Traders

Three men are walking down the street, the first guy sees a sign that says 'blow-jobs: $25' he goes in comes out (looking very happy) and the other two guys are like “what happened?" the guy replies “well first she pulled down my pants, put chocolate ice cream on it and then she sucked it off." They keep walking down the street and the second guy sees a second sign ‘blow-jobs: $50' he goes in comes out (looking very happy) and he tells the other two what happened. “First she pulled off my pants, put vanilla ice cream on it and whip cream then she sucked it off.”They are walking down the road again and the third guy sees a third sign that says 'blow-jobs: $75' he goes in comes out and he looks very sad. The other two asked, "What happened?" He replied" well first she put strawberry ice cream on it then whip cream and a cherry." the guys say "so....." he said, "well it looked so good I ate it"

A man goes to see the doctor to ask for three Viagra pills. The doctor says these are very powerful pills so I need to know why you need three. Well, the guy says my girlfriend is coming over Friday, my ex-wife on Saturday, and my new-wife is coming home on Saturday and I need these pills so I can satisfied them all. Well the doctor said ok on one condition, that you come in on Monday so I can check your vitals to make sure you are ok. The man agrees. So Monday comes and the man sees the doctor, but both arms are in slings. Oh my! What happened? The doctor asked. The man replied nobody showed up I was alone all weekend!