The cynical husband called his voluptuous wife to tell her he’d discovered a new sexual position for them to try; his wife was excited by the outlook of something fresh in their unimaginative intimacies and she pressed for more information. “In this new position, we’ll do it lying back to back,” he said. “Back to back?!” she said. “I don’t understand how that’s possible.” “It’s quite simple,” he replied. “I’m bringing home another couple.”

A man and his wife are in bed. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. “Oh, that feels good.” She says. His hand moves to her breast. “Gee, honey, that feels wonderful.” She says. His hand moves to her leg. “Oh, honey, don’t stop.” She says. But he stops.
Why did you stop? She asks.
“I found the remote.” He said

Mrs. Heller was almost in tears. “Oh, Mari,” she said to her maid, “I believe my husband is having an affair with his secretary.” I don’t believe it,” snapped Marie. “You’re just saying that to make me jealous.”

A couple is being interviewed by the local newspaper on the occasion of their golden wedding anniversary. “In all these years, did you ever consider divorce?” the reporter asks. “Oh, no, not divorce,” they reply as one. “Murder sometimes, but never divorce.”