What goes ninety nine, thump! ninety nine, thump?
A Centipede with a wooden leg.

There was a kid in a class who wanted to go to the bathroom to go
pee, and he couldn’t ask because his teacher was asking students 1 by 1 to tell
The alphabet...then it was his turn, he started:"a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m,
n,o.......q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z. Then the teacher asked, where’s the p
and the boy said: the pee is under my pants!

One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How did I get here, Mommy?" she asks.
Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why God sent you, Honey."
"And did God send you too, Mommy?"
She continues. "Yes, Sweetheart, he did."
"And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?"
"Yes, Honey, all of them, too."
The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're telling me there's been no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!"

A young couple, with their three-year old daughter, was enjoying their coffee at a local coffee shop when the little girl asked,
"What's that smell in your coffee Momma?"
"Its hazelnut coffee, sweetie.” The mother said,
"There's nuts in your coffee, momma?" said the little girl, to which the mother replied, "Yes, dear, just like your father's coffee, we both like hazelnut coffee,"
with that, the little girl turned to her dad and said, “Daddy, can I smell your nuts?"