Two ladies are in a bar and the first lady says, "Why are men the same as parking lots". So the second lady says "I don't know?” So the first lady says, " all the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicap!"

*A single man in his 40's often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity.
That's why he dates someone half his age.

A man went out for a night with "the boys" after promising his wife that he would be home by 11 p.m. Well, the beer went down real easy and the hours passed and before he knew it, it was three a.m. Drunk as a skunk; he headed home, fearing his wife's wrath. As he got in the door the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. The man, who still knew apples from oranges, cuckooed another nine times and tip-toed to bed, real proud of his quick witty solution.

The next morning when his wife asked him what time he'd got in, he told her 12 O'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all and said, "Darling, In that case, we need a new cuckoo clock." Why, asked the man," "Well last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit", cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted!

*What part of a woman does a man like looking at best?
The top of her head.