Lying down in the couch, Mr. Swanson said to his psychiatrist,
“You’ve go to do something. Last night I dreamed I was in a room with
a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.”
“I don’t understand” said the analyst. “What’s wrong with that?”
Mr. Swanson said, “I dreamt I was also a woman!”

I feel like a pair of curtains!
Pull yourself together man

Once a man came running to a doctor and told 'doctor', 'doctor'' I am not feeling well ‘ so the doctor replied ‘oh what happened he replied 'I feel like killing my self ' doctor
said 'oh.. Leave it to me.’

Patient: How can I live to be 100, doctor?
Doctor: Give up smoking. Stop drinking. Don’t go out with women. And stop eating meat.
Patient: And will I live to be a hundred?
Doctor: Maybe not, but it will certainly seem like it.