In a recent survey asking, "Would you sleep with Bill Clinton", 87 percent of the women polled replied "Not Again"

A marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a stop. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was up. The cop replied "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is on the road and very upset. He does not have the 33.5 million dollars he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to cover himself in gas and start a fire. “The marine then asked what the cop was doing. The cop replied "I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are siphoning as we speak!"

Bill Clinton is on a flight to Sydney Australia. When the plane was approaching the destination the aircraft captain announces: Mr President we are about to land at Sydney airport. Would you please return your flight attendant to her upright position.

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and stand before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly, "I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain." "DONE," says the Wizard.
"WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL?"
Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"CONSIDER IT DONE." says the Wizard.
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around intently, but doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?"