Q: What is the definition of sex?
A: One of the most natural, wholesome, and wonderful things money can buy.

A single woman left specific instructions in her will for her epitaph. It was to read: “Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin.” But the stonecutter got lazy, and knowing there were no survivors to complain. The spinster’s tombstone reads: “Return unopened.”

A man finishes pumping gas and goes into the store to pay. At the door the sign says, “Please tell the cashier the pump number to pay.” The man walks up to the counter and says to the clerk, “Number Two.” The clerk hands the man a set of keys, motion to a hallway next to the counter, and says “The second door to the left.”

Two homosexual guys are walking down the road when one looked at the other and said “You see that guy across the road?” “Wow, he’s cute!!” the other said. “Well, I had sex with that guy before I met you.” “No shit???” the other asked. “Not much…” replied the first.