Guys wish their penises were an onion. Because unlike theirs it's bigger, gets eaten more, tastes better, and is so good it makes you cry for more.

A man's definition of foreplay.... 1, 2, 3, 4 aahh!!!

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. They're practicing to be men.

A nun and the taxi driver:
Driver: may I ask a favor, sister? It’s my fantasy to kiss a nun.
Nun: O.K., but, are you a Catholic and single?
Driver: I am both. (The nun fulfilled driver's fantasy and kissed him.)
Driver: Thank you sister. But I confess I lied. I'm married and a Muslim.
Nun: That's ok! I'm attending a costume party and my name is Carlo.