Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: You can turn off a chainsaw.

A Jazz pianist spends the entire first set staring at a hot woman in the front row. When on his break, he dashes to the men's room for some hand relief.

But he forgets to zip up. Halfway through his next set a woman approaches him and says, "Are you aware that your fly is open and you are dribbling on your shoes?"

"Aware of it!" the pianist declared indignantly. "I wrote it!"

Q: What is a VI-IX inversion?
A: It’s where the root of the bass in is the mouth of the soprano.

How can you tell if a bass player is really bad?
Even the section notices.