A while back, a teaching hospital installed a new computer to interview patients visiting its gynecology department. Apparently the programmers were none too familiar with the nature of women’s health. One of the questions the computer asked was, “are you having your monthly period now?” If the answer was “yes,” the computer would send the woman away and reschedule the appointment…. For four weeks later.

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

Q: Why Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex
A1: It is on everybody's mind all the time.
A2: Everyone is talking about it all the time.
A3: Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.
A4: Almost no one is really doing it.
A5: The few who are doing it are:

Three women are sitting around talking about their husbands’ performances as loves.
The first woman says, “My husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that.’
The second woman says, ‘My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and spank me sometimes. I kind of like that.’
The third woman just shakes her head and says, ‘My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it’s going to be when I get it.’