Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

A happily married man had always asked his wife to have sex “doggy style.”
And she always emphatically had said “no!”
Finally, on the man’s deathbed, he asked his wife why she refused to his simple request to have sex on her hands and knees. “Hands and knees?” she said; “I thought you meant in the front yard!”

A couple was having financial difficulties, so it was decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner motel and assured her that he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems.
A man pulled up shortly after and asked her how much she wanted to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. Her husband told her to charge the client hundred bucks. She went back and informed the client, and he cried, “That’s too much!” Then the man asked, “How much for a hand job?” She told him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband told her to charge forty bucks. She came back and informed the man and he felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. The woman noticed that the man was really well hung, so she asked him to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again and her husband asked, “Now what?”
Then the wife said; “Can I borrow sixty bucks?”

A husband calls for his wife on his deathbed. He tells his wife that after the passes away he doesn’t want her to be alone. “Six months after I pass I think it would be okay for you to marry Joe.” “Joe?” his wife asks. “But I thought you hated Joe.” “I do,” the man, answers.