What do you call a blonde in a tree? A branch manager.

A man is driving through an English countryside when he sees a beautiful blonde woman without a stitch of clothes on, running across a field with three men in white chasing her. The last man is carrying two bowling balls.
He stops the man with the bowling balls and asks "What's going on?"

The man replies "The blonde is a patient in a mental hospital over the hill. They can't keep clothes on her. Every couple of weeks she escapes, and we have to chase her and bring her back."
"What's with the bowling balls you're carrying," asked the man.
"Oh, I caught her last week. This is my handicap," the man answered.

I want to divorce my husband; said the shapely blonde to her lawyer. On what grounds, the lawyer asked. Infidelity, I don’t think he's the father of my child, she replied.

An airline captain was training a very pretty new blonde flight attendant. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new flight attendant was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
She replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"