St. Peter halted a man at the entrance to heaven. “You’ve told too many lies to be permitted in here,” he said.
“Have a heart,” replied the man. “Remember, you were once a fisherman yourself."

One day Noah was taking a stroll around the deck of the Ark when he came across one of his grandsons fishing off the side. Noah firmly inquired, 'You aren't using worms, are you?'

In Sunday school little Johnny learned about how God took a rib from Adam to make Eve. The next day, Johnny's mother saw him in his bed clutching his side and moaning.
When his mother asked him what was wrong, he simply replied, "Mom, I think I'm having a wife."

Mrs. Kelly, the housekeeper was briefing the newly appointed priest on problems in the rectory that required immediate attention.
“Your roof needs repair, Father,” she said.
“Your water pressure is bad and your furnace is not working.”
“Now, Mrs. Kelly,” the priest allowed, “you’ve been the housekeeper here five years, and I’ve only been here a few days. Why not say our roof and our furnace?”
Several weeks late, when the pastor was meeting the Bishop and several other priests, Mrs. Kelly burst into the office terribly upset. “Father, Father,” she blurted, “there’s a mouse in our room and it’s under our bed!”