A man walks up to the front desk in a hotel lobby, he hears something in the background, and suddenly turns around and ends up elbowing a beautiful woman in the breast, very apologetic, he says: "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, you'll forgive me..." The woman says: "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221!!!"

One day these two girls were hired to clean this guy's house. While they were there the AC broke, so one of the girls said, "Hey, since no one is here and it’s so hot in here lets take off our clothes.” The other girl agreed. So they took their clothes off. Later that day they heard a knock at the door. One of the girls went to the door and asked who it was. "Blind man," the person answered. The girl said, "Hey, since he's blind he can't see us." So she let him in. As soon as the blind-man stepped in he said, "Nice tits where do you want these blinds."

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road.

As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "Pig!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies with "BITCH!"

They each continue on their way, as the man rounds the next corner he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.