Somewhere in Iowa an elderly couple named Ethel and Fred are engaged in foreplay...as Fred reaches under the covers he grabs Ethel by her tits and says, "Ethel if these could produce milk, we could get rid of that damn cow". Ethel thinks nothing of Fred's remark. Fred then reaches further down into the cover and grabs Ethel by her snatch. Fred then replies "Ethel if this here could catch mice we could get rid of that damn cat” at this remark Ethel rips the covers off the bed grabs Fred by his dick and says "Fred if this was a little bigger we could get rid of your damn brother."

There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: "What do you use to feed your pigs?"
"Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that. Why?"
"Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't eat wastes."
Then he fined the farmer.

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered: "Well, I feed them very well. I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak...why?"
"Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat."
And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question. The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want."

A farmer was having trouble getting his horses to breed. He had tried everything and was at his wits end. Finally one day he called the local Vet. The Vet told him to rub the male nose into the female horse...He would get the scent of her and breed. Sure enough the farmer rubbed the male horse’s nose into the female and he hopped right on. That evening the farmer was thinking about his own trouble in the sex department. So that night after him and his wife were laying in bed, he reached down underneath the covers and rubbed on his wife and then rubbed his nose. To his amazement he got his first hard-on in years. He yelled out to his wife..."honey look!!! look!!!" His wife turned on the light disgusted and said "You woke me up to tell me you had a bloody nose?"

Once a Farmer and his daughter went to the Market on a Market Day to sell their products. They almost sold everything except for 5 Kgs. of Flour. While returning home when they were in the midst of the forest a band of robbers jumped in. Seeing them the Farmer's daughter quickly turned behind and hid the money in her bra and turned back. The robbers asked them to surrender whatever they had and could not find anything except for the 5 Kgs. of Flour and decided to take it. After the robbers left the farmer started wailing and crying for having lost everything. The daughter quickly removed the money from her bra and showed it to the Farmer. The Farmer was overjoyed and danced with joy. But after a moment he beat his head and repented crying saying " if I had brought your mother too, she would have hide the 5 Kgs. of Flour"