A little old lady goes to see the minister of her church about a job as an organist. She is so poor and needs money desperately and the only thing she knows how to do is play the organ. She begged the minister to please give her a chance or she will be forced to live in the poor house.

The minister gave her his own sob tale. The church was in a major state of disrepair and they needed a lot of money to fix it up or the building inspectors will close them down soon and all the members of the church have not been doing much contribution towards renovating the church.

The organist made a deal with him, "If you allow me to play this Sunday for free, I guarantee you both, of our problems will be solved."

That Sunday in church, the little old lady played her heart out on the organ. Everyone sang out loudly to match her enthusiasm. As the congregation sat down, the minister asked the members to help restore the church.

"Any member who is going to commit to donating $500 or more today to the church repair fund, please stand up."

The organist then plays "The Star Spangled Banner". She was hired the next day:-)

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says: "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says: "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says: "I got you both beat. "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a 'Sermon' ... And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

An impassioned minister was visiting a country church and began his address with a stirring reminder: “Everybody in this parish is going to die.”
The evangelist was discomfited to notice a man in the front pew who was smiling broadly. “Why are you so amused?” he asked.
“I’m not in this Parrish,” replied the man. “I’m just visiting my sister for the weekend.”

Unbeknown to most of the congregation, the new minister enjoyed an occasional bottle of wine. One church member, aware of this, presented the clergyman with a bottle of Bordeaux. But the gift had a string attached. The minister would have to say thank you
from the pulpit.
At the conclusion of the next service, the minister made the announcements, then said
“And I want to thank my friend for giving the fine fruit, and for the spirit in which it was given.”