Little Johnny rushed home from school and told his mom, "Mommy, mommy, I saw Daddy driving by my school with Aunty Joan into the woods. I followed them and saw Daddy taking Aunty Joan's clothes off..." Mommy stopped him,” Wait. Little Johnny, that's a beautiful story; Why don’t you tell when Daddy gets home?" So after supper mommy asks little Johnny to tell his story. He starts over, "Today I say daddy and Aunty Joan driving by my school into the woods. When I followed them, I saw daddy taking off Aunty Joan's clothes and Aunty Joan taking daddy's clothes off; and they did what you and Uncle Chris did when daddy was away!"

Little Johnny and little Bobby and in a verbal battle, “my father is better than your father!” said Bobby.
“No, he’s not!” said Johnny.
“My brother is better than your brother!” said Bobby.
“No, he’s not!” said Johnny.
“My mother is better than your mother!” said Bobby.
Little Johnny paused for a moment and said: “well you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.”

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the milkman wants to buy Mom.’

Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does.
Johnny raises his hand and says, “you are wrong, Miss Finch!"
"Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?"
"Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbor’s Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went "fffff! fffff! fffff!" and before he could say "F…" the dog ate him!"