Yo momma so nasty she made Right Guard turn left.

*Yo momma is so fat she has to use a boomerang to help her put on her belt.
*Yo momma is so ugly that she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
*Yo momma is so ugly your daddy had to tie a bone around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
*Yo momma is sooooooo ugly that she got a job at the airport sniffing luggage!!
*Yo momma is so fat her ass is another location for Indian cave paintings.
*Yo momma is so fat when she takes a step backward you hear "BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
*Yo momma is so old that she remembers when Mt. Rushmore was a mere ant-hole.
*Yo momma is so fat when she walked across the floor she made the radio skip.
*Yo momma is so stupid when she was going to Disneyland, she saw a sign that read, “Disneyland Left" She turned around and went home.

Yo mama's feet are so big, she uses cars as rollerblades. Vrooom

Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!