A man came home to his wife one day with a one hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis; his wife asked why would he do such a thing? He replied, First: "My father always told me to keep a hundred dollars in my pocket: 2. I, always like to see my money grow and 3. Any time you want to blow a hundred dollars, you don't even have to leave the house.

Love is a temptation caused by a sensation
which a man sticks his location into a girls destination
which doubles the population for the next generation.
Do you need an explanation or do you need a demonstration?

The missionary is teaching the native chief English. As they walk through the jungle he points out various things and tells the chief its name in English... "VINE" umm... vine, repeats the chief.... "BUSH" says the missionary... bush echoes the chief.... "TREE" says the missionary.... tree says the chief... As they penetrate the dense jungle, they pull back the vines and there in a clearing, is a man and woman making love... The missionary is at a loss for words... How can he explain this to the chief? Finally he turns to the native and says..."MAN ON SLED"... The chief raises his spear and throws it at the couple... The spear strikes the man in the side and he rolls off the woman... dead! The missionary is shocked and appalled! "Why did you do that?" he cried.......... "Man on MY sled" said the chief!

A woman wants to surprise her husband for their 25th anniversary. She decides to go out buy some sexy lingerie. She picks up some crotch less panties and a new bra.
When the hubby gets home from work she's sprawled out on the bed wearing her new lingerie. In her sexiest voice she says "do you want some of this, big boy?” Slightly frightened, the man exclaims "hell no, look what it did to your panties!"