One day little Johnny comes in from the playground and writes the word "penis" on the board in block letter very small. So the teacher comes in and erases it and looks around the class for a guilty face. So the next day he does it again but bigger and it’s taking up half of the board. So she erases it and looks around the class for a guilty face and doesn’t find one. So finally the third day little Johnny write penis on the board in big block letters covering the whole board. The teacher’s erases is and says, "what’s up with this word?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "the more you rub it the bigger it gets"

Little Johnny always did badly in math and his mother was very frustrated. She and her husband tried everything they could, flash cards, tutors, etc. However, they could never quite get him to understand math and study hard. As a last resort, his mother sent him to a Catholic school. When he came home from school, he ran straight up to his room and started studying. As she called him down for dinner, he ate quickly and ran up the stairs to study more. After studying, he went straight to bed. This occurred for two months. Finally, one day Johnny brought her his report card. She looked at it and he had an A+ in math. Very surprised, she could not wait to ask him a question. "Johnny, what was it, what made you finally work so hard?" He looked at her and seriously answered, "Well, as soon as I walked in and saw the guy stuck on the plus sign, I knew they meant business."

Little Johnny and his stern father are out at the park when suddenly a honeybee settle on a rock in front of them. Just for spite, little Johnny smashed it with a rock. At which point his father said, “That was cruel, and for being cruel you’ll get no honey for a whole year.” Later, Little Johnny deliberately stepped on a butterfly. “And for that, young man,” said the father, “you will not get any butter for a year.”
When they returned home, Johnny’s mother was busy fixing supper. Just as they entered the kitchen, she spied a cockroach and immediately crushed it underfoot. Little Johnny looked a his father and said, “Shall I tell her, Dad, or will you?”

Little Johnny walked in oh his parents having sex. He asked what they were doing. His father said, "We're playing poker and you're mom is the wild card." the next day, little Johnny walks in on his brother having sex with his girl friend and he asked what they were doing. His brother said, "We're playing poker and she is the wild card." The next day little Johnny's mom walks in on him w….. off like there is no tomorrow. She said, "I see you're playing poker but where is your wild card." Little Johnny said, "Why do I need a wild card with a hand like this."