A third grade student in the primary school in Pinebur, Tennessee challenged President George Bush Jr. to a debate. The subject to be debated was, “who is the hero in all Superman Comic Books”. President Bush declined as Carl Rove directed, stating that he was not sure he had the comic book in his library and, therefore, he would be unable to research the subject.

The final lab results and findings of President Bush's procedure were released today. Several polyps of guilt had been found and removed. Also tucked away in a crevice, next to a crack pipe, it’s reported that his head had also been located. Further testing showed there seemed to be no activity in the find, and posed no threat to his normal every day activities or life style. So not to cause any more discomfort, it was not removed.

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman as he smiled smugly, "How about global warming; universal health care; or stimulus packages?"
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know shit?"
And then she went back to reading her book!

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

- For Hispanic attacks!