During a whistle-stop campaign, the presidential candidate’s train hopped the track and ran roughshod through a farmer’s field. Several animals were killed and the politician agreed to reimburse him, making it the first and only time a politician took responsibility for the bulls hit.

“Do you know why hunting season begins in November?”
Because that’s when the elections begin, and all the turkeys come out!

During a heated debate about Iraq, a congressman said, “Lets just give the Iraqis our constitution. It’s worked for over 200 years.”
Another congressman said, “That’s a great idea. Besides, this country is not using it anymore.”

An American, Japanese and a Nigerian were boasting about how effective the electoral processes in their countries were better than one another. The American was the first to speak. He said elections in his country were so perfect that results were announced in less than 24hours. The Japanese laughed at the American and said results in his country were announced less than 12 hours after the election. Not wanting to be rubbished, the Nigerian laughed at the American and Japanese and enthused "results are announced in my country even before the election".