A man got a job in the sales promotion department of a cola soft-drink company. When he asked about his duties, the manager explained. "Oh! It's an easy job! All you have to is call on ten women buyers every day, and knock Seven-Up!"

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

A traveling salesman is in a small town for a couple of weeks when he really begins to miss his wife. After another two weeks, he just can’t take it anymore, and decides to visit the town brothel. He goes up to the madam and says, “Here is a hundred dollars. Give me the worst bow job in the house.” “But sir,” says the madam, “for a hundred dollars, you don’t have to settle for the worst blow job. As a matter of fact, you could get the best.” “No, no,” says the man, “you don’t understand. I’m not horny, I’m homesick.”

At a carpet store a very well dress woman bent over and touched a Persian rug and she farted. When she gets up she notices that there is a salesman standing behind her.
She then asks the salesman, “How much is this rug?” The salesman replies, “Well, lady… if you farted just touching it, you’re gonna crap when you hear the price.”