Two drunks were sitting on the curb late at night discussing the world events when an old mangy dog sat down right in front of them and started to lick its private area....the one drunk said "look at that, now thats dexerity, wish I could do that"...the other drunk looked at him and said "well you better get to know him first".

This guy applied for a job at this drug store. The owner told him he was going to be a sampler. He was to sample all the edible merchandise that came to the store, and if it was good, to move it up front for sale and if it was bad, he was to return it.
So he waited at the back platform and a truck came with a shipment of pastries, he sampled a few and they were good so he moved them up front for sale. Then a truck came with a load of soda pops, he sampled a case of the colas they were good so he moved them up front for sale.
Then a truck brought boxes of candy, he sampled them and they were good so he moved them up front for sale. This went on all day and just before closing time a medical truck came with a load of chocolate laxatives; he sampled some of them and he has been moving ever since.

Two nuns were riding their bikes on a cobbled road, on their way to church. One nun turns to the other and says 'ooh, I’ve never come this way before.'
The other nun replies 'neither have I...must be the cobbles.'

A nurse was telling a gorgeous co-worker about the Canadian sailor who was a patient in Ward Ten.
“He’s tattooed,” she confided in a low voice, “in a very intimate place!”
“You, mean – “ grasped the beautiful nurse.
“Yes! Isn’t that odd? There’s actually a word tattooed there: ‘Swan.’’’
“This I’ve got to see,” exclaimed the voluptuous one, and she hurried off to Ward Ten. Half an hour later, she returned. “You were right,” she said, “he is tattooed there. But the word is ‘Saskatchewan’!’’