A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.

A private eye is showing Stanley movies of Mrs. Stanley in bed with other men.
on the beach, at football game during halftime and all kinds of crazy places doing just about everything.
After viewing all this Stanley says, “I refuse to believe it!”
The private eye rather mortified says, “What --- you think I rigged the evidence?”
Stanley says, “No, of course not. I just can’t believe my wife could be so much fun.”

When her recently diseased husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the greater part of his fortune to another woman. Furious, she raised to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone. “Sorry, lady,” said the stonecutter. “I inscribed “Rest in peace” on your orders. I can’t change it now.”
“Very well,” she said grimly. “Just add ‘Until We Meet Again.’”

A man sees a picture of his wife in the nude hanging at an art show, and demands of her, ‘Did you really pose for that?’ ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she replies. ‘Of course not. The artist painted it from memory.’