Did you hear about the redneck jack o lantern?
It has more teeth than the rednecks wife...

The sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pickup into the ditch. The Sheriff asked: “why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head?" “Yep." - the guy replied. “That’s why I'm dumping it here, it says: ‘fine for dumping garbage.'"

A reporter asked this redneck what he thought about the President's Civil Rights Bill. He answered: “if he owes it - I reckon he should pay it."

In the Hills of the Appalachians, a farmer’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. There was no electricity, so the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down,” said the doctor. “I think there’s another one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes she had delivered a baby girl. “Keep holding that lantern,” she said. “It seems there’s yet another one in there!” The farmer scratches his head in bewilderment and asked, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”