I wish I were a Ring upon my lovers hand
for every time she'd wipe her ass
I would see the Promised Land.

Here I sit so broken hearted
Came to shit but only farted
And cause my wind was loud and long
It inspired me to write this song
Anytime now that turd will drop
With a loud and splashy messy plop
And if you think this ode is over done
Just witness the ring-sting round my bum.

A sign in a men’s restroom at a truck stop said,
“IN CASE OF AN AIR RAID CLIMB INTO TOILET NO ONE'S HIT IT YET.”

Q: What's the difference between love, lust, and showing off?
A: Swallowing, spitting, and gargling.