A 20-year-old guy marries a 65-year-old woman. The next day he dies.
Reason reported; he drank expired milk.

A man, celebrating his 25th anniversary, looked at his wife and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, I lived in a one-room apartment, watched a 15-inch black-and-white TV, and drove a rusty old car. But, every night, I slept with a gorgeous blonde. You're ageing now, and I figure you're not keeping up your appearance like you did all those years ago, and I'm not too happy about it."
His wife looked back at him and said, "It's true that I'm not what I used to be. But, sleep with a gorgeous blonde tonight, and I'll see that, once again, you're living in a one-room apartment, watching a 15-inch, black-and-white TV, and driving a rusty, old car."

A married woman was walking along a river when she came upon a frog who said "I am a magic frog and if you kiss me I will grant you three wishes. However, I must warn you that any wish you make will also be granted to your husband only 10 times stronger." She thought about it a said what the hell so she kissed him and said "I wish to have ten million dollars." The frog said "You do realize that your husband will be ten times richer than you?" She nodded so he granted her wish. She then said "Next I wish to be the most beautiful woman in the world and for men to love me." The frog said "You know that your husband will be far more handsome than you and will attract 10 times the women." She nodded so he granted her wish. "Now," the frog asked "What is your final wish?" She smiled and said "I want a mild heart attack!"

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really annoyed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! ”The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday