Four gay guys walk into a bar and start arguing over who’s penis is longer.
Well the bartender finally got sick of hearing them arguing so told them he had a way to solve this problem. He told them to stick their penis’ on the bar and he’d tell them who’s was bigger. Well just as they put them up there, another gay guy walks in and yells “I’ll have the buffet!”

A man picks up his girlfriend in his new Mercedes on the way back from his golf outing.
She slides in the front seat, looks down, and notices a box of tees.
“What are these for?” she asked
“That’s where we put our balls on before we drive,” he answers.
“Wow,” she says, “the Germans really think of everything.”

Two Firefighters are butt f—king in a smoke filled room.
The Fire chief walks in and says “What the hell is going on in here?!”
The Firefighter says “well sir, this man has got smoke inhalation.”
The Chief says “why didn’t you give him mouth to mouth.”
The Firefighter says “How do you think this shit got started?”

Two women were discussing their heavy smoking habits. “I get such a yearn for a cigarette.” Said one, “that the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck hard.” “That’s fine for you,” huffed her friend, “but I don’t happen to live in a house that’s right on the beach!”