A man goes to the doctor and tells him, “Doc, I’m having a really hard time controlling my bladder. The doctor says, Get off my new carpet Now!”

Joe goes to he doctor for his physical exam. The doctor says to him, “Joe. I’m afraid you have a rare decease. “Is there a cure for it, doc?” Joe asks. “Yes. The only thing that can cure you is fresh breast milk.” Joe then advertises for a wet nurse. A gorgeous blonde responds to his ad and agrees to wet nurse him. At their first session, Joe is sucking away. The blonde starts to get turned on by Joe’s sucking prowess and discovers that she is highly aroused. “Is there anything else you want, Joe?” She moans, as she caresses herself. “Do you have chocolate cookies?

The gynecologist stuck up his head after completing his examination. “I’m sorry, Miss,” he said, “but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy and delicate operation.” “I’m not sure I can afford it,” sighed the young woman on the examining table. “Why don’t you just change the batteries?”

Tony goes to the doctor and explains that, after forty years of marriage, his sex life isn’t all it could be. He is hoping the doctor might be able to prescribe a pill that will get him aroused. The doctor has just the right medication, so Tony takes a pill and drives home.
When he walks in the door, he discovers that his wife is out. He waits for over an hour with a tent in his pants, and finally alleviates his “pain” himself. The doctor call the next day to check on him, and Tony explains what had happened. “You know, Tony,” the doctor says, “you didn’t have to do it yourself; there are other women in town.”
“Doc, for other women I don’t need a pill,” Tony says.