“I sent my son to college to get an education,” complained Joseph to Allan, “but all he seems to do is shack up with girls, smoke pot, and have a good time.”
“Most college students do that today,” replied Allan. “That’s the trouble,” snapped Joseph. “I should have kept him home and gone to college myself.”

A suspected foreign man arrives at Kennedy airport and is going through customs. He becomes extremely irate when the customs inspector insists on searching his bags. He screams at the inspector, “New York is the asshole of the world!”
“And I take it,” replies the inspector, “That you are just passing through.”

“Do you smoke after sex?” the man asked.
“I really don’t know,” the woman replied.
“I’ve never checked.”

A guy walks out of a house of ill repute and sits down on a park bench, deep in thought. “Man!” o ‘Man!” He says to himself. “What a business! You’ve got it. You sell it. And you’ve still got it!”