Every week the teacher asked her fifth-grade students to use different words in a sentence. This week she gave little Johnny the word “Republicans.”
“My cat just had a litter,” he said, “and all the kittens are Republicans.”
“That is very creative,” said the teacher.
The following week she called on Johnny again and asked him to use the word
“Democrats.”
“My cat just had a litter,” he said, “and all the kittens are Democrats.
The teacher said, “Now, Johnny, don’t you think you ought to use a different sentence?”
“It is different,” he replied. “They’ve opened their eyes now.”

Little Johnny went to visit his grandfather's farm for a holiday. While grandfather was showing him around the farm, he saw a cock doing his business with one of the hens, and he asked, "Grandpa, what's that?” Grandpa replied, "That's a cock, and that's a hen and he's serving her." Further on, Johnny saw a horse doing his business with a mare, and he asked, "Grandpa, what's that?” Grandpa replied, "That's a horse and that's a mare, and he's serving her."

At dinner that night, Grandma said, "Grandpa, will you please serve the turkey?" At that, little Johnny jumped up and said, "If he does that, I'm having a hamburger!"

Little Johnny was sitting in his Sunday school class. Suddenly one of the children asked the teacher "Where does God live?" The teacher replies, "That's a good question. Does anyone know the answer?" Just then Little Johnny raises his hand and shouts out, "I do! I know where God lives!" The Sunday school teacher then asks, "OK Johnny, where do you think God lives?" "In the bathroom at my house." The Sunday school teacher is confused. So he asks Johnny, "And how do you know that?" Little Johnny replies, "Because every morning my daddy pounds on the bathroom door and says
'GOOD GOD, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?'"

The first day of Little Johnny's third grade class also has a new teacher. "Good morning class", she says, “I’m your new teacher. My name is Miss Prussy". The class snickers; the teacher carefully annunciates and writes her name on the chalkboard. "It's p-R-u-s-s-y. Now tomorrow morning I expect all of you to remember my name. And it won't be written on the chalkboard either." So the very next morning the teacher asks the class' Alright, which of you remembers my name?" Not one hand rises. Finally Little Johnny slowly raises his hand. "Thank you, Johnny", says the teacher as she calls on him, " Will you please tell the rest of the class my name?" Johnny thinks intently and says, "Miss....Crunt?"