You Might Be a Redneck If. . .
You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them
You've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.
You've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.
You've ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.

A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening and said he had a cow with problems having a calf.
The old cowboy got his rope, and drove thru the rain to his neighbor's house. The cow was standing out in the rain with her calf next to her. The old cowboy thought she should be examined anyway. "Has she ever had a rope on her"? "Oh, yeah, yeah! Last year”! The old cowboy twirled his rope over his head and made a perfect cast. As soon as the rope went over the cow's head, she bolted. In a dead run, she pulled the old cowboy around the corral on his stomach, full length in the mud, three times around the corral. The old cowboy finally got her stopped, and looking at the young man in a rage said," I thought you said she'd had a rope on her before"! "I had a rope on her last year, and she did the same thing then"!

You might be a redneck if your family considers mashed potatoes finger food.

You might be a red neck if you think a 7-course meal is KFC and a 6 pack.