An 85-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical examination. After the doctor completed the examination he informed the man that he was in good health for man his age. The man replied, "Thanks doc, I am marrying a 21 year old girl and she want to start a family immediately." The doctor replied, "I would not be too optimistic." A year later the doctor saw the man again an asked, "How's the wife?" The man replied, " She's great she is home nursing our set of twins." The doctor replied, "That reminds me of the man that was an avid bear hunter. On one occasion he was so excited about going bear hunting that he grabbed up a three-foot section of garden hose instead of his rifle. He entered the woods and was soon confronted by an 8-foot grisly bear. The man raised the piece of hose and said bang and the bear fell dead." The man replied. "Doctor, you can't make me believe that he killed that bear with a piece of garden hose, someone else shot that bear." The doctor replied, "That's what I am trying to tell you."

Ms. Wallaby decided she wanted to get a facelift, so she went to the Dr. to inquire about it. The Dr. told her that there was a new procedure that he had been trying out on a few patients and they seemed to like it well. He said that he would insert a little button right on the crown of her head and that way whenever she felt her skin getting loose all she had to do was reach up and turn the knob until it felt tight to her. This was just fabulous and worked so well for the first couple of years. Then all of a sudden it quit and she went to the Dr. and showed him how her button had quit working and to prove it she told him to look at the big bags under her eyes, why, Ms. Wallaby he replied, those are not big bags, that happens to be your breast, oh well, then I guess that explains this goatee on my chin.

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says to the doctor,
"Why is sex a pain in the **** to me?
The doctor replies, "You're doing it wrong!"

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this senior citizen handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said,
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this roomful of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" "I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The doctor's office erupted in laughter.