Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?' " She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy. "Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?' " Again there was no response except from Toshiba. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese." "Who said that?" she demanded. Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said. At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed and said, "I'm gonna throw up."
Teacher said, "Who said that?" Again, Toshiba raised his hand and said, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Well suck my dick!" Once again, it was Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."

UN sent out the following survey to everyone in the world: "Please give us your honest opinion as to how to resolve the problem of food shortage in the rest of the world." The survey resulted in a miserable failure because--
The Latin Americans did not know what "please" means.
The Asians did not know what "honest" means.
The Eastern Europeans did not know what "opinion" means.
The Middle Eastern did not know what "resolve" means.
The Western European did not know what "shortage" means.
The Americans did not know what "the rest of the world" means.

Giorgio had been in this country for about 6 months. He walked to work every day and would pass a shoe store on the way. Each day he stopped and looked in the window and admired a certain pair of Justin leather boots. He wanted those boots so badly; it was all he could think about.

After about 2 months he saved the $300.00 the boots cost and purchased them. He polished them every day. They were so shiny, that you could see your face in them.

Every Friday night the Italian community would get together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seized the opportunity to wear his new leather boots to the dance.

He asked Sophia to dance and as they danced he asked her, "Sophia, are you wearing red panties tonight?"

Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I 'm wearing red panties tonight, but how do you know?"

Giorgio replied, "I can see the reflection in my new $300.00 leather boots. How do you like them?"

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to her, "Rosa, are you wearing white panties with black polka dots on them, tonight?"

Rosa answered, "Yes, Giorgio, I am, but how do you know that?"

He answered, "I can see them in my shiny new boots. How do you like them? "

Now the evening was almost over and the last song was being played. Giorgio asked Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his face turned red. He said, "Carmella, be stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wearing no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"

Carmella smiles coyly and answered, "Yes Giorgio, I'm not wearing any panties tonight. But, tell me, how did you know?"

Giorgio gasped, wiped the sweat off his brow, and says ...."Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my new boots