Guilty or not guilty!

Well, I thought I was guilty, but I’ve been talking to my lawyer, and he's convinced me I’m not guilty.

A man walks into a bar and sees a good looking smart dressed woman perched on a barstool. He walks up behind her and says, “Hi there, good looking, how’s it going?”
She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen, I’ll crew anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it.”
“No kidding? I’m a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?”

A young major was apprehended, completely nude, while chasing a woman though the lobby of a large hotel. However, his lawyer soon had him freed on a technicality. The Army manual specifically states that an officer need not be in uniform, provided he is properly attired for the sport in which he is engaged.

I have not seen my husband for eleven years,” the wife said. “Be patient,” advised the lawyer. “Maybe he has taken up golf.”