A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this,— pointing out that if someone made even a small error in his copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The abbot says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot...

Finally, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was...

“CELEBRATE !”

God was talking to one of his angels. He said, “Boy, I just figured out how to rotate Earth so it creates this really incredible twenty-four-hour period of alternating light and darkness.” The angel said, “What are you going to do now?” God said, “Call it a day.”

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order.
Still the dying man said nothing.
The pries asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”
The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody.”

A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a professional poker player were fishing from a boat not from the shore of a lake. The pastor needed to go to the bathroom so he got out of the boat, walked across the water, disappeared into the woods by the shore, then walked back across the water to the boat and climbed back in.
The priest was the next to make the trip, getting out of the boat, walking across the water, disappearing into the trees, then walking back across the water and returning to the boat.
The professional poker player was the last to go. He stepped out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said: "You really should have told him where the rocks are."