Q: What is the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

Q. If a bra is called a flopper-stopper, a girdle is a hinder-binder, what's a Kotex called?
A. A Peter-cheater

Did you hear about the lesbian who built her house without nails?
It was all tongue & groove.