I got my news paper today and the headline read: "N.S.A. SNOOPS ON AMRICANS."
So, I told my proctologist to burn my file, just in case.......

It was Memorial Day celebration, and the senator used the occasion to announce, “I am going to go to the presidential convention ad run as a favorite son.”
Listening to the speech, one man said to another “Did I miss something, or did that jerk forget to finish the sentence?”

THE WORLD IS GOING CRAZY "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. Need I say more?

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them is Jesus.
The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so.
The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and put it on his tab. The waiter does so.
The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.
When Jesus is finished eating, he goes over to the Republican and says, “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind.” He touches the man’s eye, and his blindness is healed.
Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, “I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm.” He touches the man’s arm, and it is healed.
Then Jesus walks over to the Democrat. The Democrat moves away from Jesus and exclaims, “Don’t touch me! I’m on a hundred percent disability