Paper Ads

Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Three guys were looking at the stars one night. One of them turns and says, "One of these days, I'm going to be an astronaut." The other two replied, "Oh really?"
The guy said, "Oh yeah, and I'm going to be the first person to land on the sun." The friends said, "How are you going to do that? Once you land on the sun, you are going to burn up." The man answered, "Don't worry, I've got it covered. I'm going to leave at night."

Q: What did the motorist say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

A: "Hop in!"

After listening to his roommate preach once again on religious splinter group, one monk, shout at the other, “Is that all you can think about? Sects! Sects! Sects!