Q: What would we be called if we killed all the Taliban?

A: Taliwhackers

One day a fly was flying 10 inches above the water. The bass says if that fly drops 4 more inches I'm going to have me some lunch. A bear was on the hill, the bear says to himself, " If that fly drops 4 more inches and that bass jumps out to eat that fly then I'm going to have me some lunch. A hunter was on the hill, the hunter is thinking, " If that fly drops 4 more inches and that bass jumps out of the water and that bear swats that bass - I'm going to shoot that bear and have me a trophy. A mouse watching from the hill says, " If that fly drops 4 inches and that bass jumps out of the water and that bear swats that bass and the hunter shoots the bear - I'm going to run over and take a bite out of the hunters' sandwich. A cat on the same hill says, " If that fly drops 4 inches and that bass jumps out of the water and that bear swats that bass and the hunter shoots that bear and the mouse runs over for the sandwich then I'm going to have me some lunch. About that time the fly dropped 4 inches - the bass jumped up and swallowed the fly the bear ran down the hill and swatted the bass the hunter shot the bear and the mouse ran over to eat the sandwich. The cat seeing this was about to pounce the mouse when a huge dog came from nowhere and tore the cat to pieces. AND THE MORALE OF THIS STORY IS - EVERYTIME A FLY DROPS 4 INCHES A PUSSY GET'S SCREWED.

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one-day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without."