Worried about their lackluster sex life, the young wife finally persuaded her husband to undergo hypnotic treatment. After a few sessions, his sexual interest improved; but during their lovemaking, he would occasionally rush out of the bedroom.
Overcome by curiosity, she followed him to the bathroom. Tiptoeing to the doorway, she saw him standing before the mirror, staring intently at himself and muttering, “She’s not my wife…. She’s not my wife….”

John returns from his honeymoon and his friend asks him how it went. “Terrible,” he replies, “on the first night I got up to go to the bathroom and, without thinking, I put a $50.00 on her pillow.” “Well, that’s not so bad, says his friend. “If she is upset, tell her it was a joke.” “She wasn’t upset, replies John. “I got upset when she gave me $30 change!”

THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY
CONTRIBUTED BY HARRY F FROM CRANSTON RHODE ISLAND AND PROVIDENCE PLANTATIONS

Every night, after dinner Harry took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened.

His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry continued his nightly routine.

One day the wife was talking to a friend about her husband’s behavior and was particularly distraught by it all. The friend listened to her and then said, "Why don’t you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don’t you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways." The wife thought that might be a good idea.

That night Harry took off again after dinner. About midnight he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard him at the door, quickly went to it and opened the door to let Harry in. This time, instead of berating him as she had always done, she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to him, "It’s pretty late dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don’t you think?"

At that, Harry replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll be getting in trouble with the stupid wife when I get home anyway!"

Visiting hour at Rhode Island Hospital are from 5 – 7 pm after he comes out of his coma.

I'll never forget the last words my wife said to me before she died...


She asked, "Honey, what are you going to do with that hammer?"