A wealthy dog goes on a safari one day while chasing butterflies, he notices that a ferocious leopard is heading his way, with little time to react he notices a heap of bones lying on the ground, quickly without wasting time he sits down pretending to chew on them, as the leopard is about to pounce he exclaims" boy that was one delicious leopard I hope there are some around" upon hearing this the leopard halts in mid attack and runs for dear life.
Meanwhile a monkey is watching the proceedings and decides to follow the leopard and tell him about how he had been tricked, but the dog sees the monkey going after leopard and waits.
The monkey finally catches up with Leo and spills the beans, upon hearing this Leo is furious" hop on my back monkey I will fix that good for nothing conniving dog". As the the pair is nearing the dog, he sits with his back to the approaching predator when they are within earshot the dog exclaims" where the hell is that monkey I sent him off an hour ago and he is still not back.

One fine afternoon a robin returned to his nest after hunting for worms and noticed a brown and white speckled egg in his nest. "Just what is the meaning of this?" he asked his wife. "Oh' she replied, "I just did it for a lark".

A lion, his wife, and a fox were sitting together. The fox was making fun of the lion saying why don’t you cut your ugly hair; you call yourself the king of the jungle more like the mop of the jungle. Oh, you think your so fierce, you sissy. The lion’s wife had enough of this. She told her husband “If you aren’t going to make the fox stop I will”. The lion looked at her and said “Be calm and ignore him he just wants to make you angry. Ignore him” The fox hearing this told her that if her husband was a real lion he would defend her. The lioness very angry by now attacked the fox. The fox ran and ran, but the lioness was close on his heel. He entered a pipe and got out on the other end, but the lioness was stuck. So he took a cigarette and started burning her ass. Finally when the lioness got out of the pipe she went to her husband with her head bent low. He looked at her and said: “He took you to the pipe.” I have been there!

An older man is laying down next his donkey. A man comes by and asked for the time. The old man grabbed the donkey’s balls and moved them to the left and said: "It’s 12:00 p.m." The fellow asked him: "How do you know the time by grabbing the donkey’s balls?" The old man said: "You grab the donkey’s balls and move them to the left, and do you see that clock tower in the middle of the town, it' says 12:00p.m."