A woman with really hairy armpits got on a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settled o hanging on to one of the poles. A drunken man next to her stared at her for a few minutes, then said, “I love a woman who does aerobics

Q: What is the definition of disrespectful?
A: Running through a graveyard singing "Staying Alive!"

A guy takes a trip to Ireland, walks in a local pub and orders a beer. Strikes up a conversation with the man next to him, “I’ve had a hard life" he says with a deep Irish accent. The man asks “what’s so hard about it?" "You see that wall over there? Two years of my life I spent on that wall; ever call me Patrick the wall builder? No, No" The guy tells the bartender "buy this man a shot he's had a hard life." "You see that road over there? Five years of my life to build that road; ever call me Patrick the road builder? No, No" "Bar keep, one more shot for this man" "You see that house over there? Ten years of my life to build that house, ever call me Patrick the house builder?? No..... No, BUT YOU HUMP ONE GOAT!!!! AND YOU ARE PATRICK THE GOAT HUMPER FOR LIFE!!!!"

A man living in a nudist camp gets a letter from his mother requesting that he send her a photo of himself. Unfortunately, the only pictures he has are ones in which he is wearing no clothes. So he cuts a snapshot in half, and then sends the photo showing him from the waist up to his mother. His mother is so pleased with the picture that she asks him to send one to his grandmother. The man thinks to himself, “Grandma’s eyesight is so bad these days; I’ll send her the bottom half.”
A week later he receives a letter from his grandmother. In the letter she writes, “I liked your picture, but your new hairstyle makes your nose look too long.”