A man in a bar slipped off his jacket and slung it over the back of his chair. One of the sleeves hit a woman sitting behind him.
“Watch what you are dong with that sleeve,” she complained.
“It’s all right,” the man said. “There’s no ‘arm in it.”

At a bar, an attractive woman sat next to a man having a double scotch. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said. “This is a special day. I’m celebrating.”
“I’m celebrating, too,” she replied, clicking the glasses with him.
“What are you celebrating?” he asked.
“For years I’ve been trying to have a baby. Today my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”
“Congratulations,” the man said, lifting his glass. “As it happens, I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they’re finally fertile.” “How did it happen?” “I switched cocks,”
“What a coincidence,” she said, smiling.

A skeleton walks into a bar one night and hops on a stool. The bartender asks "What'll ya have?" The skeleton says "get me Miller Lite." So the bartender gets him his beer and says "anything else?" The skeleton says "Ya..........a mop.............."

Three guys are in a bar getting pretty sloshed when they start to discuss the size of their penises. Soon the conversation escalates into a full-blown argument, each man insisting that his penis is the biggest. “Put them on the bar so we can compare,” suggests the bartender. The drunks do just that. Shortly, a gay man comes in, looks around, and says to the bartender, “I think I’ll have the buffet.”