The caretaker of a fishing resort notices the husband of a newly wed couple was spending all of his time fishing and not with his new bride. When he asked the man why are you spending all day out on the lake fishing when you could be making love to this fine young babe?
Well, the groom said, I would but you see she has gonorrhea!
Wow said the caretaker, but there are other things you can do to her.
I know said the groom, but you see she also has diarrhea!
But still there are other things you can do to her, said the caretaker.
Well she also has pyorrhea (gum disease) said the groom!
Damn dude, why the fuck did you marry this bitch?
Well, she also has worms, and I love to fish!

An old deaf couple was sitting on their couch when the wife wrote "Honey, if you want to have sex, squeeze my left boob once. If you don't want to, squeeze my right boob twice." The husband replied "If you want to have sex, grab my dick once. If you don't, grab it a 150 times."

Q: Why do tampons have strings on them?
A: So you can floss your teeth after you eat.

A teacher asked her class "which human organ expands to almost 10 times its normal size when stimulated?"
"I can't believe you are asking us this question!" one girl yells, "I plan to tell my parents that you are asking us inappropriate questions!"
The teacher pauses and another boy puts his hand up "the retina of the human eye?"
"Yes!" the teacher replies. "Very good Billy!" she then turns to the girl "I hate to tell you this," she says "but number 1, you did not do your homework, number 2, you have a very sick mind, and I fear you will be sadly disappointed someday.