“It’s a pity you’ve gone on a hunger strike,” said the convict’s wife on visiting day.
“Why?”
“I’ve put a file in your cake.”

Elmer comes home at three in the morning. His roommate asks, “Where were you tonight?”
Elmer says, “I had a date with a pair of Siamese twins.”
His roommate asks, “Did you have a good time?”
Elmer says, “Yes and no.”

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. Your order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

As you grow older, do you miss the innocence and idealism of your youth, or do you mostly miss cherry bombs?