On their wedding night, the rather pious young man entered the bedroom and found his bride lying naked on top of the covers. “I expected to find you on your knees by the side of the bid,” he said with a frown. “Well, I will if you insist,” she answered, “but it gives me hiccups.”

Before retiring on his wedding night, the young minister turned to his bride and murmured, “Pardon me, darling, I’m going to pray for guidance.”
“Sweetheart,” his wife answered, patting him on the cheek. “I’ll take care of the guidance. You pray for endurance.”

The groom awoke the morning after his wedding to find his innocent young bride in tears. “Why are you crying?” he asked. “Look,” she sobbed, pointing to his resting manhood. “We used it all up the very first night!”

A husband retuning from a business trip was informed by his wife that a burglar had entered their house while he was gone. “Did he get anything?” the husband anxiously inquired. “I’ll say he did,” replied the wife. “It was dark and I thought he was you.”