This guy and his girlfriend were at a Lookout Point. They started heavily making out guy thinking he was going to score asked the girl, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" She replies, "No!" So respecting her choice he kindly went back to making out with her. Ten minutes later he started fingering her and she was moaning so he asks again, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" Once again she says "No!" and he goes back to work. Another 10 minutes go by and he asks, "Do you want to go to the back?" she once again says "No!" Pissed off he says, "Why the hell not?" She says, "Because I want to stay up here with you!"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender: "Can I have a hot rag for my nose?"
The bartender says "yes, but why do you need that for your nose?"
The man answers "Well, a couple of seconds ago I tried to sniff coke, but and ice cube got stuck up my nose."

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings; she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant-- about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant? She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

Two fellows are sitting in the waiting room. One is a smart fellow and the other is an idiot.
The smart fellow is called first. He goes and sits on the chair.
He is asked three questions.
1."Are you mentally challenged?"
He replies - "No, I don't think so."
2."Who is the president of the USA?"
He says - "George Bush Junior."
3."What kind of job can we expect from you?"
He is trained for this question - "The finest in the country, sir."
The interviewer is very impressed. He puts this fellow down as an immediate reference. He then calls in the next fellow, the idiot.
Outside the smart fellow and the idiot meet. The idiot, as usual, does not want to think. He asks the smart fellow, "Please tell me all the answers." The smart fellow does so, in proper order and goes away. The idiot enters the interview room. The interviewer, seeing the fellow, gets to know that he is an idiot and so he pulls out an easier set of questions. And so it goes -
1."Do you have parents?"
As he was told, he replies - "No, I don't think so."
2."That is not possible. You must at least have a father. What is his name?"
He replies - "George Bush Junior."
The interviewer, rather flustered, looks up from the questionnaire and asks the idiot, "What kind of an idiot can you possibly be?"
So comes the reply - "The finest in the country, sir."